Ding Dong The Vampire's Gone

If you actually follow this blog (yes, all one of you) you would know I did not blog about last weeks episode of The Bachelor. I will be honest, I didn't feel like watching it. But... I'm baaaaack!

Ashley S. One-on-One Date

Can I just say, I hate when Brad says "I chose this date" or "I arranged this date", because we all know that Brad himself did not plan or chose the dates. Brad did not call Capital Records and say "I would like to humiliate myself by going into a recording booth and sing a song from 1994, think you could make that happen?" Either way, singing in front of my guy is something I normally save until I know for sure he likes me.. A LOT. I have a feeling that this Tenley Molzahn look-alike will be around for a while. As a sidenote: I wasn't a big fan of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" back in 1994 but I totally was digging it tonight. Only took 17 years...

Group Date (Action Movie called Love Hurts...Really.)

Another huge group date. 13 women. Is Brad looking for a wife or a wife plus sister wives? Basically all we get to see in this date (besides how bad of an actor Brad is...) is just how crazy Michelle is starting to become. If you remember, Michelle is the spokeswoman for "Brad needs a real woman, I am a real woman" but then does childish things like covering her face when her hair when she doesn't want to see something and and puts her fingers in her ears when she doesn't want to hear something. Yah, clear signs of being a "real grown woman." I know 10 year old's who are more mature...

Emily's One-On-One

So Emily had everyone in tears about her one true love (Ricky Hendricks, of the NASCAR Hendricks) dying in a plane accident and her finding out 5 days later that she was pregnant with his child. Mark my words. Drop dead gorgeous, sweet, Southern gal with a sad back story has next Bachelorette written all over her. Her date with Brad was tense at first because Brad gave her many openings to tell her story or anything about her but she deflected back to him each time. This annoyed him. And me. And probably you. But in true wine drinking fashion, she finally spilled the beans. His reaction, total googly eyes. Did he have a choice though? How much of a jackass would he look like if he dumped her after she tells him she has a child with her one true love that was killed in a plane accident? I would say that Emily is definitely a front runner by the way Brad repeatedly says "A lot" after telling her he likes her. A lot.

Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony thoughts:

-Is it just me or did Madison (Vamp-Chick) become way more like-able in this episode? Maybe it was knowing that she was leaving that made me like her? I do have to question Brad's mental state though when he told her she didn't need to take her fangs out because he liked them.. Was Brad's dreams to be a Fang Banger crushed tonight? (Little Tru Blood reference for you.)


-Michelle asking Brad to explain himself after she found out he kissed two other girls the same day as he kissed her... Hello Honey? Did you forget what show you were on? I loved his answer that he didn't kiss enough girls last time so he is making up for it this time. High five Brad, high five.

-Chantel and Brad seem to not only want to do bad things to each other (telling each other every time they see each other was my first clue) but they seem to genuinely like each others minds too. Note to self: Consider slapping guys on first date?... Maybe not.


-A good amount of gals who have had no screen time (who the heck is Stacey?)received roses this week, as well as all the ones the show has focused on which leaves who to be dumped? Two chicks. I don't remember their names but one forgot her waterproof mascara and blow dryer at home, and the other was so full of herself I am surprised she could get that inflated head into to the limo to head home. Her parting words were "F&*k Brad", maybe if she had she wouldn't be going home. Just sayin!

Manscapers, Rockettes, and Fangs, Oh MY!

I admit it, I love the Bachelor/Bachelorette TV series. Not surprisingly I always have something to say about each episode, so I thought I would share them on this blog. Hey, it is my blog, I can write whatever trash I want! When I found out the Bachelor was going to be Brad Womack, I was surprised. I remember being positive that he was going to chose Deanna Pappas his first go around and remember being shocked when he chose no one. At the time I think I was angry but then I realized not only did I needed to get a life, but it was pretty cool that he picked no one if he wasn't really feeling either of the girls. Brad, of course, had to deal with the aftermath or being one of the most hated Bachelors.Anyone else think he sent Jason Mesnick a thank you basket after Jason's train wreck season? Now he is getting his second chance which is fine with me because he is more than easy on the eyes. Supposedly he has changed. I am good with that, and could careless if he actually has, but I am worried that he will pick someone no matter what because if he doesn't this time then he will need to go into hiding. Note to Bachelor producers: We have heard him apologize enough. That horse is dead, let's move on.

Bachelor drinking game:
Take a drink every time someone says "changed" and "therapy" replacing previous seasons drinking game words "journey" and "amazing"

Yummy Brad:

Still hot. Hoping all his "changed" (drink!) ways doesn't affect his sense of humor. I used to love how he would make jokes about the girls saying or doing silly stuff. I think we are safe in that he commented he doesn't want his "package waxed at all" after the "manscaper" waxed his arm.

Girls who actually caught my attention:

Chantel O: Will now be referred to as "the slapper." She got a rose but he made her sweat it out and chose her last.

Melissa: Who else would have laughed had he not caught her?

Madison: Fangs? Really? REALLY?!?! Probably disappointed the Bachelor wasn't Rob Pattison. CANNOT believe she got a rose.

Emily: "Beautiful" blonde with sad story. First to mention she is so happy it was him instead of saying something skeptical about him. Loved that she said "it's better to be home alone than to be home and wish you were alone" I have 100 on it that she is the next Bachelorette. Count on it!

Emily Sidenote: I read that Emily's baby daddy was none other than Ricky Hendricks, son of Nascar owner, Rick Hendricks. AND she dated Dale Earnhardt Jr. Lucky gal.

Raichel: Manscaper? Really? Could she please just refer to herself as an esthetician so I can stop typing "manscaper." Where my mind goes every time is not good.

Ashley S.: Tenley look-alike. Got the first impression rose for saying she would "be his friend no matter what" Nice move... Might be stealing that line in the future...

Jackie: Lea Michele look alike.. Could she please break into "Dont Stop Believing?" that would make my night... She made Brad pinky swear that he wont break her heart? Has she not seen this show before?

Ashley H: The dentist. I think will be a final four, but previews show her being a little crazy. Doesn't really help people who fear the dentist...

Alli: Asks him if he can handle a bigger behind. She got a rose, so I guess he can.

Renee: Was interrupted every time she sat down with Brad and he let it happen.This is going to be a long season for her or maybe not since she didn't get a rose.

Jill: Needs to eat sandwich.

Lisa: wore ruby slippers because she is from Kansas. Lame.

Britt: Honey, Taylor Swift hair only looks good on Taylor Swift.

Rebecca: Don't remember much about her except she was wearing a dress I have. Great taste! ;)

Keltie: Annoyingly over excited rockette.

Michelle: Brad was wowed by her beauty. She calls herself a "real woman" I predict her being a trouble maker and the most hated girl of the season.

I see the final four being: Michelle (the trouble maker), Emily (the blonde southern belle), Ashley H. (the crazy dentist), and Ashley S. (this years Disney character).

As I close out my first of many nonsensical blogs, I leave you with this...


REALLY?!?!?