Arent You Worried?

"Aren't you worried" is one of those questions that no one really wants to be asked. Its one of those questions where the person asking doesnt really care what you answer because they already feel you should be worried. Come to think of it, "aren't you worried?" is never associated with something good. For example, no one would ask "aren't you worried you will be so much prettier then his new girlfriend?" My aren't you worried moment came this weekend out of nowhere (and when I say out of no where, I mean literally, I am sitting at the bar with two friends, drinking my Coors Light, making idle chitchat and bam!

"Jamie, do you not want children? You are 30. Aren't you worried? I'm worried for you."

Lets Dissect:
"Jamie, do you not want children?"
Well at the moment I was trying to decide if I wanted another beer...

"You are 30"
Thank you Captain Obvious. I would like to point out that girl asking me is 25.

"Aren't you worried?"
Well I am now.

"I'm worried for you"
... Thanks?

It's bad enough I have to worry about finding a guy, but now I have to worry my clock ticking? As someone who was ready to be married at 19 and at one point wanted 5 children (I got over the notion of 5 kids years ago when it dawned on me that 5 children possibly meant at least 10 years of wiping someone else's butt) it does surprise me that not only am I single but my child bearing years are dwindling away. Should I be more worried that my clock isn't ticking louder? In fact, maybe my clock needs new batteries because I haven't heard from it in a while. If by chance I do sucker some guy into marrying me, do we have to rush to the bedroom to make babies right away? I always wanted to be married for a couple of years before having children, but its looking like I will need to say "I do" with my dress over my head.

(Big thanks to my 25 year old friend for giving me something to think about but most importantly post about. hehe)

Observations of a barfly...in flip flops...

Location, Panama Joes, Gainesville, FL.
Time Frame: Many years

1. A really drunk woman (around my age), grinding against the bar asking a guy in a drunken southern slur "I'm looking for a real man, are you a real man?"

-Really? What can this guy possibly say? "No, I'm not a real man?"

2. Drunk guy to friend: "Did you take pretty lessons?" Followed every five minutes by yelling at her "Stop it!" and "Stop being so pretty!"

-Note to Guys: While this is one of the lamest lines I have heard in a while, it was also kind of cute the first time. After that, your just annoying.

3. A drunk girl slapping the beer out of her boyfriends hand and slapping him repeatedly. Followed later by her threatening my friend with "I know tae kwon do"

-My response: "I will ghetto beat your ass."

4. Drunk guy to me: "Will you read me a book?"

-Still not sure if he was picking on me for wearing glasses or being naughty...?

5. A drunk girl manages to fall out of her chair twice (TWICE!) in one night. And by fall I don't mean stumbled out of, I mean sitting in her chair like normal to laying on the ground still in her seated position.

-One week later, I am still laughing uncontrollably while she glares at me.

6. Drunk girl, whose name shall not be mentioned, that spent the first part of the night with Sailor Jerry declaring: "Momma is drunkity drunk drunk!" followed shortly by: "why would he go home when he could have all of thisssss..."

-DISCLAIMER: Sailor Jerry is not your friend... He pretends to be your friend and then he sneaks up on you, hits you over the head, and makes you say and do really stupid stuff that you will later be mocked about... Or so I heard.