Sex and the--- Really?

As a huge fan of the Sex and the City television show, there was no doubt in my mind I would be seeing the sequel that opened recently. In fact, I was so excited to see it, I made sure I would be there on opening day. That's big for me, there are not a lot of movies I go out of my way to see on opening night.

Against my better judgment I read the reviews before the movie came out. Most of the reviews said it was a stinker, but like any true fan, I was going no matter what. I tried explaining it to my male co-worker like this: It's like Indiana Jones or Star Wars movies for guys. You know it is never going to be as good as the original but you have to go just so you can see what happens. Plus, I have never been a huge believer in reviews because most of the time I strongly disagree with them.

Sadly this was not one of those times. Now now ladies, put down the pitchforks and hear me out. I will narrow it down to a couple of points on why I was not impressed (some spoilers will be needed) and for fun I will add on why I was impressed... That way you guys will still be my friends.

1. Where's the love for the city?
In the tv show Carrie had 2 great constant (keyword: constant) loves: Her love for her girlfriends Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha and her love for the New York City. I remember specifically a quote from the show where Carrie says: "If Louis was right, and you only get one great love, then New York may just be mine...and I can't have nobody talkin' shit about my boyfriend." Well honey, where the heck is your boyfriend in this movie?

2. Who are these women?
In my opinion the reason why Sex and the City has such a following is that in every episode, no matter how outlandish the subject was, there was always something that every women could relate too. It didn't have the be the main plot of the episode but there was always a little something. We have all had that one love that was always out of reach, or been broken up with harshly (though hopefully no one by post-it), and we have all sat there with a bunch of girlfriends and wondered what the hell was going on with that certain someone in our life. Unfortunately, SATC2 misses the boat on this one. The connection is gone. I read a review that stated the ladies had all become caricatures of their former selves which amused me because weren't they all originally caricatures of modern day woman already? Now, I can see what the review meant after watching the movie.

3. Who needs a plot line when you have Camels?
I remember my heart actually hurting for Carrie when she realized Big wasn't showing up to marry her. I remember it hurting even more watching her pummel him with her perfect bouquet of flowers and yes, and I even remember thinking "what the hell is on her head" when she revealed herself on her wedding day, but this movie had no real emotion attached to it. Don't get me wrong, I cringed when her and Aidan kissed but mostly because I couldn't see why she would want to kiss Aidan when not only does she finally have everything she ever wanted, but she had cheated on Aidan WITH Big during the tv series.

It has just dawned on me that I could go on for days and days about my likes and dislikes, but since we all have jobs and no one is sending us on an all expense paid trip to Abu Dhabi, here's the cliff-notes version:

Oh-La-La (I likey!)

The Fashion.
Yes, the clothes are over the top, lavish, rich and outlandish and none of us would wear half of it, but it really was something to marvel at.

Big and Carries House
It was neat to see what happens when their two worlds collided in Home Goods. It was perfectly suited to both of them (good job Carrie!)

Sight for Sore Eyes.
From the rare glimpse of New York, the breathtaking Abu Dhabi, the fashion, and even the women's houses, each scene is very visually appealing.

That's Big.
Big managed to stay true to character throughout the tv series, the first movie and all the way through the sequel. He has never been the "lets go out all the time/or look at me" guy, no matter how much Carrie has tried to force him for years now and still isn't.

Laugh-out-Loud (or as the kids would say "LOL")

Samantha's caricature throwing condoms at the Arab men (of course her ass should have been stoned but it was amusing nonetheless.)

"Take a sip." Anthem from women everywhere on the verge of a breakdown with a with a cocktail in hand .

--Insert Cringe Here--

Samantha's "Lawrence of my labia" line. And most of her scenes with "Lawrence."

All of Carries nagging. I would want a weekly break from her too..

The Gay Wedding. And not because it was a gay wedding, but because the acting was horrible. It was awkward and felt like none of the characters had ever acted together. C'mon! You guys have had 6 seasons and a movie together before this..

Charlotte's camel toe. We all know I love a good camel toe reference but it seemed so obvious.

The whole Arabic women/undercover fashionista scene. Total filler.

Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte singing "I am Woman" in a karaoke bar with the random woman standing up, high fiving, fist pumping, and yelling "I am woman!" seemed a little too "Legally Blonde" cheesy to me. Plus, I can think of a million other more suited songs...Well not right this moment, Im blogging!

All the fake tanner. Carrie looked like she had spent the week with the Jersey Shore kids.

All the women in the actual movie theatre with me who gasped when Aiden and Carrie kissed, loudly exclaimed "I love you" to Big at one point, and clapped at the end of movie while chanting "Number 3! Number 3!".... Really? I felt like I was being punked.

Now, all in all, do I think you should see the movie? Definitely. But not because I think it is a great movie, but because as a true Sex and the City fan you have to see what happens. So, grab your lightsaber ---I mean manolo blahniks and go see the movie.

Arent You Worried?

"Aren't you worried" is one of those questions that no one really wants to be asked. Its one of those questions where the person asking doesnt really care what you answer because they already feel you should be worried. Come to think of it, "aren't you worried?" is never associated with something good. For example, no one would ask "aren't you worried you will be so much prettier then his new girlfriend?" My aren't you worried moment came this weekend out of nowhere (and when I say out of no where, I mean literally, I am sitting at the bar with two friends, drinking my Coors Light, making idle chitchat and bam!

"Jamie, do you not want children? You are 30. Aren't you worried? I'm worried for you."

Lets Dissect:
"Jamie, do you not want children?"
Well at the moment I was trying to decide if I wanted another beer...

"You are 30"
Thank you Captain Obvious. I would like to point out that girl asking me is 25.

"Aren't you worried?"
Well I am now.

"I'm worried for you"
... Thanks?

It's bad enough I have to worry about finding a guy, but now I have to worry my clock ticking? As someone who was ready to be married at 19 and at one point wanted 5 children (I got over the notion of 5 kids years ago when it dawned on me that 5 children possibly meant at least 10 years of wiping someone else's butt) it does surprise me that not only am I single but my child bearing years are dwindling away. Should I be more worried that my clock isn't ticking louder? In fact, maybe my clock needs new batteries because I haven't heard from it in a while. If by chance I do sucker some guy into marrying me, do we have to rush to the bedroom to make babies right away? I always wanted to be married for a couple of years before having children, but its looking like I will need to say "I do" with my dress over my head.

(Big thanks to my 25 year old friend for giving me something to think about but most importantly post about. hehe)

Observations of a barfly...in flip flops...

Location, Panama Joes, Gainesville, FL.
Time Frame: Many years

1. A really drunk woman (around my age), grinding against the bar asking a guy in a drunken southern slur "I'm looking for a real man, are you a real man?"

-Really? What can this guy possibly say? "No, I'm not a real man?"

2. Drunk guy to friend: "Did you take pretty lessons?" Followed every five minutes by yelling at her "Stop it!" and "Stop being so pretty!"

-Note to Guys: While this is one of the lamest lines I have heard in a while, it was also kind of cute the first time. After that, your just annoying.

3. A drunk girl slapping the beer out of her boyfriends hand and slapping him repeatedly. Followed later by her threatening my friend with "I know tae kwon do"

-My response: "I will ghetto beat your ass."

4. Drunk guy to me: "Will you read me a book?"

-Still not sure if he was picking on me for wearing glasses or being naughty...?

5. A drunk girl manages to fall out of her chair twice (TWICE!) in one night. And by fall I don't mean stumbled out of, I mean sitting in her chair like normal to laying on the ground still in her seated position.

-One week later, I am still laughing uncontrollably while she glares at me.

6. Drunk girl, whose name shall not be mentioned, that spent the first part of the night with Sailor Jerry declaring: "Momma is drunkity drunk drunk!" followed shortly by: "why would he go home when he could have all of thisssss..."

-DISCLAIMER: Sailor Jerry is not your friend... He pretends to be your friend and then he sneaks up on you, hits you over the head, and makes you say and do really stupid stuff that you will later be mocked about... Or so I heard.

...Why am I Doing This?

That's what I am asking myself right now. Why in the world do I want to start a blog? Do I think I am Carrie Bradshaw? Nope. Do I wish I was Carrie Bradshaw? Possibly. But that's not why I am blogging. I'll explain...

You see, I turned thirty 15 days ago. Yah, its a big one. And I cant help but think about how everyone (and by everyone I mean all the people who are still in their twenties) have asked me if I was freaking out to turn thirty? My answer: "Noway! I'm going to ROCK my thirties!" Honestly, I struggled through my twenties. My twenties were filled with a ton of financial stress as well as all the insecurities that come along with being in my twenties. Does turning thirty make all of that go away? Nope. But this blog is going to help me to stay true to me stating I am going "rock my thirties."

So the next thing I ask myself is how exactly am I going to "rock my thirties?" Well, I am not quiet sure how or what I am going to do, but I do know one thing. All of my friends are married and are already in baby land or working on baby land. I am no where close to that. In fact, I am on a dating island, occupancy one. How I got on this island I am not sure (maybe I should stop calling my DVR my boyfriend..) but I got my paddle and canoe and I am going to work against the tide and make some changes. It wont be easy, and believe me I am very stubborn when it comes to change (possibly another island reason) but I am going to try my hardest to try new things and break all (some) of those bad habits that have got me to where I am today.

Not only will this blog be filled with all of my many (fingers crossed) dating adventures, but also all of the shenanigans as I try to make my thirties rock. Plus, I have an opinion on everything (hello again island) and I am more than happy to share my thoughts and on just about anything.

So, as I close out my first official post, here's a virtual toast to friendship, dating, losing weight, and all fun that is going to be my thirties!